Rail trip to Bristol, part three

Now I witness an awkward scene. A new woman sat adjacent, faces the stony-faced reality of being caught without a young person’s railcard. As the ample bottom of the female train conductor partially blocks my nosey view, I hear words like “only valid with the railcard”, and “I had it when I bought the ticket.”

Such a confrontational stalemate is awkward for a carriage. The large-reared lady must be strong in her resolve or appear weak. However, she must accept that to bored observers, such as I, she is the villain. How often have I had this same weary conversation with train conductors having stupidly removed my railcard from my wallet at the weekend – probably to make room for flavoured treats…

And how is this resolved? It seems the offending lady has choices. She can pay the remainder of the ticket price in cash. She has no cash. Ok, fine. She can leave the train at Sheffield. She’s going to Bristol. Right, ok, well she can leave the train at Sheffield, get some cash out, pay the excess and get on a later train.

Or, how about she apologises a bit, agrees to some vague demands, waits for the big-ass conductor to get bored and leave, and then just sit there, quietly thinking ahead to her equally embarrassing confrontation on the return journey.

Once the conductor got bored, she turned to the carriage and with determined professionalism said, “any more tickets from Doncaster?” Weirdly, no one moved.

The lady’s now reclined, reading a novel. She’s scratching her nose and wondering if she can get someone to post her railcard for her to avoid that embarrassment again…