The News

Four things I heard yesterday, transcribed in ten minutes before I left for work because I wanted to put something on this damn blog!

Mohamad Al Fayad has erected a golden statue of Diana and Dodi at the Harrods store. Apparently they are in "bird-releasing pose". Who made this statue? And how did they know how to model them into bird-releasing pose? Were the couple famed for their redistribution of airborne wildlife?

“Irritable Male Syndrome” has been identified as a genuine illness. Symptoms include anger and irritableness and it is caused by stress. So, “stress syndrome” then.

Water skiing in The Lake District has been badly affected recently because of new legislation meaning that the boats powering the potential water-skier cannot travel faster than ten miles an hour. That’s about as fast as I can walk. And let’s be honest there would be no fun in attaching a large rope to my neck and following me around.

Mike Watson, Scottish MP, got drunk in a hotel and set fire to the curtains. Cool.

That was the news.