Friday, September 12, 2008

when you've been to the army

when you've been to the army,

it really changes you, you know

like I used to live with

two guys,

and they both,

you know,

they hadn't been to the army

and when we need to clean the place,

they're saying

let's just pay the two hundred,

get someone in to do it.

and when you've been to the army

you don't want to spend money

that you don't need to.

you can clean the house

in one hour.

in one hour, you know,

you

can have the house like – not tidy tidy

like tidy,

but you know,

you can have it acceptable.

clean you know.


I mean

do you know how much I used to do in the army?

like do you know how long is

one minute

when you're in the army?

now, it seems like,

yeah,

it's one minute

but then it was like

you had to do so many things

in one minute.

in seven minutes I would get up,

wash my face,

get dressed,

do my bed

not like do it completely for inspection

but you know,

I would make it nice

and tidy.

and when mum says she will

be ready to leave the house

in five minutes,

I'm thinking.

do you know how much

I can do in five minutes?


So if you want to clean the house,

you need to do the dusting

and the hoovering

and this one guy he's like

I have a bad back and

I get tired if I've been working

for more than a few minutes.

you know,

he's not been to the army.

and I mean,

ok,

if you have a legitimate back problem

then perhaps you shouldn't do

all of the scrubbing

when you're leaning over a lot.

but maybe you can do the dusting

because you know

you're not having to use you're back so long.

so the dusting gets done and

I say

I'll wash the floors and the kitchen.

I mean, you know,

I say

I'll even do the washing up

and the other guy he can do his room

and then this guy he can do the dusting,

which takes like what,

ten minutes?

I mean, do you know how much I do

in ten minutes

but that's it,

you know, you have the dusting

and the floor

and the bathroom

and you know,

I'm probably doing more

so it's not exactly fair

but I mean each person is doing his bit

and still what do they want to do?

they want to do pay these people

two hundred shekels

to clean our flat

and

I don't want to pay them.

just do the dusting!

which takes only ten minutes

and I will do the rest.


you know,

they haven't been to army

and really it shows,

you know.

the army changes you.

I don't want to say

it was a lifechanging experience,

but it did really change my life

you know.

you can just tell those people

who haven't been to the army

because they

can't

just

get

on

with

it

you know.

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