Rangy Manatee

Oxfam then. It was quite odd. I was put immediately on a till and sat there for 3 1/2 hours taking one break to drink tea out of my manager's mug. Turns out he's fond of the big blue one. I then served old clothes, books and bits of detritus to generally poor looking and often quite crazy-looking peeps. Then at the end of the shift I helped cash up only for the manager to discover the till was £20 down. Hmm, quite a situation. Always a fun one to deal with when working anywhere near a till, especially when you're doing voluntary work. Well, I remained calm and just made noises of disapproval and disappointment. That sound about right? Lucky for my new ass the manager said something along the lines of "That's three wednesdays in a row isn't it". Phew.

By the way, I didn't nick it.

But what if he hadn't said that? What do you do? Now I have a - how shall I put it - a 'circulation' problem (calm down, I don't get spontaneous rock-ons [any more {I'm 21 after all #do I win a punctuation prize here?#}]) which means I blush quite easily especially if in a moment of embarrassment. And let's be honest it's quite embarrassing having to offer to empty your pockets and your bag in a desperate effort to prove to your new boss that you aren't officially the ultimate lowest of the low. For some reason having a big sweaty red face doesn't make you look inherently more trustworthy. I don't know how that works.

Well, no point dwelling on what might have been. I mean how far back do you wanna go? Ooh, what if I were born a goat? I'd have a spottier body. Plus goatee. So what?