Rangy Manatee

Why do I write this blog? I write it because I don't have a diary. I don't have a diary because I hate writing with pens.

If I were to write a diary, today it would read like this:

It's raining. I'm wet. It's raining, I'm wet and I'm also cold and also a little annoyed because an email I was expecting hasn't arrived and I'm feeling quite hungover because all my friends were playing a wicked gig last night and I had a brilliant time and I've graduated now but I hate my main job but I've been offered a part in an Edinburgh play and I never even auditioned and I can't really afford to but I really want to do it now only I've already got tickets for Leeds festival which clashes and that's just a total hassle and I want my girlfriend back.

Yay, so a real rollercoaster today. I think I just need my general health back and all will be well.

Now I know I should be grown up now that I've graduated but I can't resist sharing this purile nugget. At the graduation ceremony we were all sat on plastic chairs, but they were the ones with the posh kinda soft bits to cushion your arse. When Chris Patten entered we all had to stand up, and I couldn't contain my glee when he sat down and everyone followed and the entire room settled to the sound of a thousand gentle farts. Pure bathos.

I seem to have written a particularly dull blog today when I could have sent an email to a loved one.