sigh

What is happening? Suddenly I’m not all here. I’m moving at half speed. My chat has all but dried up. I can barely be civil to those I share my house with. I went outside once today, it was too much. It was very cold.

My head is tilting to an angle. My eyes are glazed. Music washes over me. I have so much new music to listen to and no one to share it with and nothing but a feeling that there is more to acquire.

Hymie’s Basement by Jonathan Wolf and Andrew Broder is on my cd player. It is not new music, not to me. It is the music of last year, of compilation mixes (I’ve been making a lot of those recently) and walkman trips to university.

It is music of meditation and dread. Pianos delayed in rhythm and slightly out of tune. Lazy drum beats scatter and thud. Ambience and vocal washes underpin a poem read through dictaphone quality whispers.

Beautiful music I can lose myself in because it is familiar. All these downloads, all this new music overwhelms me at present.