Something witty just happened

I think today I said the wittiest thing I’ve ever said. I made my girlfriend actually laugh. Not like a groaning “yeah, aha, nice one.” But she actually laughed, like it was actually funny. This never happens. So what went on here?

We were preparing a veritable feast of boiled eggs and soldiers and she said that her bread was probably a bit off so maybe we should toast it. Leaving a delicious pause, I said “Oh you must always toast soldiers” And then for the comedy I raised a glass and delivered the line, with a wink and a sterling posh voice, “To Frederick,” I said.

She nearly soiled herself. Have you composed yourself yet? Yes, you are in the presence of greatness. That is some funny shit. I just feel it is necessary to comment on such wit.

Let’s be honest, that is pretty funny. Ah, come on. It is. Don’t be gay.

But why is that so funny? Is it my choice of the name? Frederick. Is Frederick a comedy name? Pronounce it with a lisp and you’ll have your partner giggling at the very least.

Was it the delivery? The timing was lush. I couldn’t have rehearsed it better. In fact, had I rehearsed it, I would have probably fluffed the whole thing and she would have wondered why I had engineered such a dubious boiled egg/old bread scenario in the first place. I mean, it is a little unlikely and yet it was all so plausible, and best of all, true.

Maybe it was my hair. The wink, combined with my leaping mane of mad hair must have been quite some sight. The rather witty line sans wink/hair would probably have been enough, but I think it was the scrabby heap of lion’s burp that sits on my head that induced the gut-busting laugh. She’s a tough nut to crack sometimes, I tell you.