In dear?

It has just occurred to me that I have probably neglected to mention on this blog that I’m going to India. Yep, I’m going to India.

I know. Weird isn’t it. I can’t quite believe it’s going to happen, but I put that down to my own lack of impetus regarding such wild claims. I think I once said I would be a car salesman. And that never happened. I don’t even drive. I was five when I said that, but you know, you should stand by any vaguely projected contingency plans that you may have. That’s what I always say.

Anyway, I’m going to India. Next month. NEXT MONTH. Christ, when you put it like that.

And people are asking me why I am going, and I often have a hard time explaining this. Perhaps I will try here.

Firstly, I am a little worn out by this country. It grinds me down. I spend my days meeting and observing a decent cross section of the general public. People are fed up. I am not fed up, but I tire of meeting so many people who are. It would be nice to go to a place where people are not so pale and weary and crushed by the dull weight of their lives. Things get heavy and I don’t quite want things to get so heavy just yet.

I would like to be dropped into the deep end of the world to see if I swim. I often feel that the obstacles of the world often deter me from action – I get distracted by the bureaucracy of things and delay action until I lose the will to act. So I will go put myself in a place so different to what is around me now. I wonder what kind of man I will become? Already I feel very different these last few months. I feel more confident. I feel sure that I have enough intelligence, common sense and luck to ensure that I continue to land on my feet.

I feel unable to settle where I am. I love Newcastle; I have many great friends here, and I have a supportive and loving family. And yet I can’t help noticing that there is loads more going on around the world and a whole bunch of people who maybe entertain ideas I could not imagine.

So I will go find myself in India. Seems like a good idea. I mean, I know who I am, but I could be wrong.

At present I have no mortgage and no permanent job and I also have no projected contingency plan. But I will do. I do have a girlfriend who I love very much but she is exploring the other side of the world. Good idea I say.

I will bring my guitar I think. And my record collection on Mp3 player – though perhaps I should not do that. Maybe I should go with an empty mp3 player and fill it up while I am there. I will probably chicken out and bring a full one with me, but if I’m challenging myself, maybe I should fill up that mp3 player with songs that I write? That would be a project.

And I hope to write on here as much as possible. Though perhaps not in this slightly flat tone. And hopefully not in a way that will bore the shit out of you.

Is my trip madness? I guess so. I have no planned route. Why should I? I’ve never been there, I don’t know much about the place. Wherever I am, it will be India – it won’t be home. It will involve people I can't imagine and who I will no doubt become great friends with, doing things I haven’t done before.

Why plan? I want to drift. I want to be open to suggestion to get swept up in the madness of the place. Besides, I’ve always been fascinated by tramps.


Do you get the feeling I should have just written a poem?