Closed eyes, smile, sigh

I’m still in the same luxurious hotel. I’ve been spending much time in a nearby rooftop restaurant, which is a lovely refuge from the noisy city. I suppose you can still hear the distant sound of incessant car horns honked as if it is the pulse of the car, its life dependant on constant beeping.

And apart from mandatory ceiling fan whir – there is no sound.

I currently have an Israeli girl sharing my bed room – though not my bed (you guys!). It makes it cheaper to stay. She has just found me hiding from her in the restaurant. Despite being incredibly friendly and smiley and lovely, she does everything at a cripplingly slow speed. Every conversation is punctuated by exaggerated facial expressions of overwhelming joy, unnecessarily pained empathy or wide-eyed, bland-smiled confusion. Add to this the fact that she speaks, walks and thinks incredibly slowly and you can see why I would get frustrated by her. It’s mean because she’s really nice, but when you’re hiding in an empty quiet restaurant, reading a novel (still The God of Small Things – making some progress) this kind of interaction is the last thing I want.

As I write this (don’t worry, she’s gone now), the delicious tranquility that I was enjoying has been shat upon. A megaphone angled directly at the rooftop garden has begun spewing forth the tinny sound of an Indian man singing some traditional song. I would go as far as to say that I would enjoy the sound if it weren’t for the fact that a) it sounds tinny and b) it is being broadcast at high volumes in my one seat of precious calm. Because by the time I’ve got up at 7.30, ventured to and from the noisy, dusty town to sing my little heart out, I’m exhausted.

Ah, it’s stopped now. I guess the dude was just singing some public prayer to God. That’s his decision I guess.

The broadcasting stationary megaphones are a memorable feature of Jaipur (and perhaps India as a whole). Even from the top of the Tiger Fort you can hear various music performances being bellowed through the street.

I climbed the Tiger Fort for the fourth time yesterday afternoon with two American girls. Sisters. We bought a couple of beers and drank them as we watched the sun set. It was lovely.

I discovered, upon busting out my guitar, that they were huge Belle and Sebastian fans and many attempts were made to remember the words to Stars of Track and Field. It’s impossible.

What was slightly bizarre was when I was offered a valium by Julie, the elder sister. I decided I was happy enough as a simple drunk, and declined. I was a bit confused though. Valium? This isn’t Dynasty!

They told me it would help me sleep and make me feel relaxed. As I have few problems with these issues, I still declined.

I’m glad I did because when I popped in on their room in the morning, they were already up and told me they hadn’t slept at all and had instead drunk a bottle of whisky. Very confused. They seemed like such balanced girls.

I love this restaurant. Aside from having a marvelous and varied selection of vegetarian food and a toilet that allows me to violently expel the remnants of said food at least once a day – the menu itself has some delightful platitudes and puns.

“There are no small steps to a great meal” (It’s on the roof, after all)

“Rudeness is a weak man’s imitation of strength.” (Hmm, you’re right!)

“Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.” (See what they did…)

“Patience is the ability to let your light shine after your fuse has blown.” (I can definitely relate to that shit)

My favourite has to be the weakest of all weak puns which heads the soup section – “Soup Opera”.

I love it.

Ooh, and check out this question from Who Wants to Be A Millionaire India:

“Which incarnation of Vishnu will be born in the family of Vishnuyashas in the village of Shambhala?”

Have you got it?

Well, after phone a friend and some rockin’ Indian tune, the answer is……

Kalki!

Anyway, I have no idea what on earth is going on in the world. There is no such thing as a British newspaper here. Plus I rarely read internet news because I’m a cheap ass and would rather spend my money writing this meaningless drivel.

I do know there was an earthquake in Pakistan and northern India. Apparently the tremors were felt in Jaipur. I think it happened during my singing lesson. I was too immersed in song to worry about the walls collapsing.

Ok ok, I’ll read the news.