Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

So I’ve been having a particularly frustrating few hours on the computer. I’m in Goa and I should be, you know, getting a tan alongside all the people who have had a bit of a head start. Most people here have torsos with a smattering of colour. You can’t actually see most other people’s ribs. It’s deeply disheartening.

But no I’m always in a freaking computer room thinking how nice it looks outside.

I’m just trying to organize a Christmas present for family and friends. It’s electronic. It’s potentially kick-ass. It takes for fucking ever. And confuses me.

Last night I met up in a restaurant with a Swiss friend, Fabian who I have met various times previously in my trip. He’s a great guitarist, about six foot four, blond and very good looking. He’s a difficult man to like. We had our guitars with us and we played some songs in the restaurant. The restaurant owner, Raz, joined us as did another German guy and we had a rocking jam.

The owner told us he had made some hash cakes a few days ago for a friend’s birthday and had one left over. Did we want it? Oh go on. It’s Christmas.

My head is still foggy. Man that was some strong ass cake.

We were both grinning a lot and going a bit fuzzy. It was marvellous.

And on leaving the restaurant I asked how much I owed. The owner said something about coming in tomorrow night to ‘discuss it’. He was smiling a lot. I think he wants me to play again tonight, and bring people. And maybe last night’s meal is free. And maybe tonight’s will be. So maybe I order the fresh fish. Hehe.

So, I’ve discovered a way of spending an entire lifetime’s worth of seasons in Goa for practically nothing. By simply befriending some easily befriendable restaurant owners and playing some songs of an evening, it’s possible to eat for free.

But it’s probably worth remembering that hash cakes don’t exactly ‘improve’ a performance. They certainly add a certain something. They develop my ability to talk surreal nonsense. They make my head go a bit tingly. They inspire some infectious and persistent laughter.

But they don’t make me play better. Just weird.

Ahh come ON!!!!!!!!!!

Man this computer is going to be the end of me. Why is this TAKING SO LONG?!!!!!!!!

Sorry.

I’m trying to write something interesting but I’m feeling totally uninspired. I’m in an amazing place but I’m surrounded by package holiday tourists. All around is amazing scenery and the sound of middle-aged Shiela asking Colin if he’s tried the red snapper. Maybe he’d prefer the lasagne.

What else interesting has happened? Nothing! I’ve just spent the last two days on a computer and the last two nights ruining myself with alcohol and cake. I feel rubbish. I must return to the sobriety that I cultivated so well during Northern India.

Ok I give up for today. This fucking thing makes me want to hack a palm tree down.